Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have fence marks all over my body
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
