Ambien. No doubt about it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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