There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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