turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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