Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
