Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
