The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
