My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It was confusing and full of hummus
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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