like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
