You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
