That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
