i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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