Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
