I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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