there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
