I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
