Whod you bang
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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