I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
