just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
