YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
