I heard we made out
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
