After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
