some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
