I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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