We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
