It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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