i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
