If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My feet surprised me
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