the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
