Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
