in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
