So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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