mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
