chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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