Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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