That's intense
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
