Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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