Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
