Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
