I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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