omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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