No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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