some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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