WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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