YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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