I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
