I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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