My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
