The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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