I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
